With 2023 suddenly upon us, it's usually the time when we start making big new year's resolutions: wake up at 4:00AM every day, quit coffee, become a bodybuilder at the gym, read ten books during your lunch break... These lists (while well-intentioned) can often be unrealistic and overwhelming, leading to disappointment and burnout. In fact, market researchers Ispos reckon that around 80% of new year's resolutions will be ditched by February.

Instead of making a new year's resolution list full of things 'to do,' why not make a list of things 'to be?' We all know that life has a funny way of getting in the way of your plans and intentions, but if we spend this year focusing on our thoughts, this will, in turn, allow us to take more positive actions. In fact, that's the whole idea behind cognitive behavioural therapy - your thoughts influence your feelings, which in turn influence your behaviour and actions.

1. Be kinder to yourself

It's easy to be hard on ourselves, especially when we're trying to make changes or improve in some way. But self-compassion is an important part of personal growth, and will make everything easier for you during the year ahead. Make a resolution to be kinder to yourself in 2023, whether that means cutting yourself some slack when things fall to the side, or speaking to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend.

2. Be more present

These days, so many things are fighting for our attention – online streaming, gaming, social media, the news cycle, the 2022 Shortland Street finale.. None of these things are particularly bad in themselves, but the convenience of our phones means that we can access any of these things immediately as soon as a hint of boredom sets in. In fact, a few Aotearoa studies showed that we can spend anywhere up to six hours a day on our phones!

Make a resolution to be more present in the coming year - whether that looks like setting aside time for mindfulness practices, turning off your phone more often, or just watching the birds outside your window.

3. Be more grateful

We know, we know – sometimes things just suck. However, we've found that there are usually always things to be grateful for – sometimes you just have to look a little harder for them. If you're finding it difficult to find things to be grateful for, spend a few minutes at the end of each day making a list of things you were grateful for.

4. Be more compassionate

Just like things can suck for you sometimes, things can also suck for people around you sometimes, too.

Being compassionate means understanding and empathizing with the difficulties of others, and it's something that we can all cultivate through mindfulness.

We hope we've given you some good ideas for your 2023 'to be' list! Let us know what you come up with, and if you are needing some extra support, check out our Wellbeing Space for a bunch of free resources!